The flashes spark in my minds eye
I hear her laughter
I see she’s happy with our goodbye
At least it looks that way
However I feel her tears
When no ones watching her
It’s a glimpse of the present so shear
Illusive as if she knows I’m here
Can she do the same as me?
Does she have the same flashes?
The same connection to see
Through my shell and directly at my soul
Is it the nightmare that she went through
Holding in all her knowledge
In fear that insanity would be her que
I would mock her with my silent lies
Does she feel the fire of anger
When I see her in his bed
Their tight embrace is our danger
I lose my ability to breathe
Does she hear me when I say her name?
Did she see me with the others?
Did she hear my thoughts in my brain
Was this her curse when we were together
How could she not tell me?
She heard my thoughts
She felt my emotions
She was truly my other half.
I let her go
I let her walk away
She found another to heal her out of the low
Why did I do this?
Am I a ghost always following her in moments
The way she is in mine
I have to make it make sense
My soul screams her name
My life breathes only her existence
My heart swells outward to reach her
I can’t fight this presence
It’s stripping my world apart
If she can hear me
If she can feel me
How can she be so happy?
So content with her soul purpose diminishing
How can she sleep with the nightmares
The anger rising and the hurt
Suffocating my life with a wound so bare
You can smell in each breathe
Does she feel me shake with fear?
Sweat from the mirror she reflects back
I see what darkness I hid so near
Did she see that? What did I do to her?
She was suffering this massively
But never spoke of it
Only in her eyes so drastically
I thought it was desperation or despair
It was because she knew
She knew I was with others
She knew I lied and covered what was true
I loved her and running I realize now
She always knew and allowed me to go
Serving her purpose until
I completely left her alone with my no
I destroyed her faith in loving me
I want her back to sit and talk
I want that moment when she saw me
She ran across the room and jumped
Into my arms with such intensity
I want the funny messages and her smile
I want those moments of adventure
When her face was outlined by the clouds
I scream, “I love you” from miles away
Did she hear it? Or am I just imaging?
Maybe she will hear it…
Maybe she will leave a sign of her feelings…
In a poem so I will know…
marie1111life 